Almost 4 years now has past and still daily I battle this. I battle the pain.The burning, the deep bone and muscle ache. the stabbing hot pick feeling. the horrible freeze in your spot spasms that are so severe that cause such horrible chest pains and tightness. thats like someone is setting on you. the mild headaches that now have turned into blinding migraines that shots cant cure, and when you do find a medicine for it the insurance company wont to not pay for them. the buzzing in the head. the muscle trembles, bug crawling that was at first small and not much a notice that now have become so extreme you wont to cut your damn feet off to stop it. the constant battle with the severe off again on again abdominal pain that leaves you crying on the toilet doing nothing but in pain, and when you finally do go its nothing but floods of water. then it passes and 30 minutes later its back again. and this can go on for hours at a time.the allergies i never had, the constant flu feeling, or the freezing from neck down but head feels like its in a heater. the waking up soaked like i stepped out of a shower. the chills with 80 plus degress outside. always tired. always putting on a fake smile pretending to EVERYONE. EVERYONE im fine and not letting noone really no whats really going on inside my body, cause noone really understands nothing at all. the shoulders left specially, that is a 24/7 burning with a hot poker. the hot and cold patches all over my body. the always cold hands and feet.always running out of breath just walking around my house. forgetting peoples names, were im at, or were we are going. taking all day just to get one thing done because i forgot what i was doing. walk into a room and have no clue why i even went in there at all till hours later. burn food because you forget you even was cooking.leave doors wide open, doors unlocked. i feel like i need a watch dog. oh and my dog.NOISE. barking. sets me off now. to a point were i just want to run. and loud music, anything loud.even my grand kids who I havent seen in a year now.. I was a person who was known cause I was a singer and sang all around the pubs, and now This diseases have taken it from me.I have a man who says he is with me 100% but who has yet to show me he really is. so I feel alone in this battle.I have to sleep in a recliner now almost 6 months cause now both my hips and legs have prevented me from being able to lay down on either side, but i havent told mrs garland cause i cant do steroids with lyme and it makes my legs and hips worse. i noticed it b4 i was diagnosed. It caused such severe pain were i cant even get up or even walk without help. And with other records showing other issues that still have not been dealt with or have been pushed to the back, when they also go hand in hand with lyme and spotted fever it worries me. My memory is slipping. I stutter alot. I stop mid sentence and forget what i was even talking about, or repeat over and over. i always feel like im in an out of body experiance. body here but mind is gone, but watching from a far. Im always in pain in one way shape or form. i say nothing cause there is nothing that can really be done. 4 years has done some damage if a literate doctor saw all my health record thus far. ekg and all. its all contributated to theses diseases. and no i d doctor is going to give a damn about any of it. Im often depressed and cry over it all. between health department 4 years being pushed pill after pill or therapist after another of thinking im a druggies when indeed i wasnt and am not. all i ever wanted was to have it solved, find the cause of the symtoms, why was i feeling like this. and then recent i had no fing clue that i did and still ocasionally have the little red circle pop up on my body palms feet and back of my arm. got pic of it recently. didnt dawn on me at all. i knew mild fever i had and fluish but like i said b4 i didnt know what all this was back then. but they should have and instead of sending me off, tested me. and sadly one number one symptom for women with lyme or rmsf is any discharge change in color from one or both breast. and that was the reason I even went to them. and they sent me away. so you ask me about my syptoms. All I can honestly say is. I have many Rebecca. I am still having new ones that come. I have some that are recent like the bugs crawling in my feet. Miss Jenna Hennessee My allergist knows about it. I mentioned it to her this past Monday the 27th to her. Its been now 3 weeks and it has gotten worse. I havent said nothing cause what can be done? If you can help. great. But I am at the end of my rope. And I am trying to go day by day now with what strength I have to deal with this with no medicine to help me cope with all this. I know a cure is not in my future cause im late stage, but remission is possible, and if i can get garland to help me get there good, i would prefer that. cause i dont know if i can handle another cold shoulder fom another vial doctor...
